Pieces That Matter – October 2026
When Violence at Home Affects the Whole Family
Domestic violence affects more than the adults involved. This October, we’re looking at how violence at home can affect children, what can help them feel safe and supported, and where families can turn for help.
Children do not have to be physically harmed or even see violence happen to be affected by domestic violence. They may hear arguments, threats or frightening sounds from another room. They may notice injuries, damaged belongings or sudden changes at home. They may sense when a caregiver is afraid or when tension fills the room. They may also live with what comes afterward, including changes in routines, where they live or go to school, separation from people they love, or uncertainty about what will happen next.
Children can respond to these experiences in many different ways. Some become quieter or more withdrawn. Others may seem angry, clingy, distracted or unusually worried. Younger children may return to behaviors they had previously outgrown. Older children may try to take on adult responsibilities, worry about a caregiver or sibling, or feel like it is their job to keep the family safe.
There is no single way a child who has experienced violence will look or behave. What matters is noticing when something has changed, staying curious about what may be underneath it, and making sure children know they have safe adults they can turn to.
WORDS THAT CAN HELP
“What happened between adults is never your fault. You don’t have to fix it or take care of anyone. The adults are responsible for keeping you safe.”
Children may need to hear these messages more than once. They do not need adults to have every answer. They need to know they are cared for, that what happened was not their responsibility, and that there are people who can help.
Sometimes the first step toward feeling safer is simply knowing that someone will listen, believe you and help you figure out what comes next.
FROM THE RESOUCE LIBRARY
When a Child Tells You About Abuse
When a child tells you something concerning, your first response matters. You do not need to have all the answers or know exactly what to do next. Listening calmly, believing them and letting them know they did the right thing by telling you can help a child feel heard, believed and supported.
FOR PARENTS & CAREGIVERS
Helping Children Feel Safe After Violence at Home
When children have experienced violence or frightening conflict at home, they may need time before things begin to feel safe again. Even when the immediate danger has passed, children may continue to watch closely, listen for signs that something is wrong or worry about what might happen next.
Caregivers cannot erase what a child has experienced, but small, predictable things can help rebuild a sense of safety. Keeping familiar routines when possible, letting children know what to expect and making room for their feelings can all help.
For children, feeling safe again is often something that happens little by little. A quiet evening, knowing who will pick them up from school, hearing that tomorrow’s plans have not changed or having the same bedtime routine can seem like small things to an adult. To a child who has lived with uncertainty, those ordinary moments can help make life feel more predictable again.
Children may also continue to have big reactions even when things seem calmer. A slammed door, raised voice, unexpected change in plans or separation from a caregiver may bring back feelings of fear or worry. These reactions do not necessarily mean a child is moving backward. They may need more time, reassurance and repeated experiences of safety.
It is also important to remember that children can hold many feelings at the same time. They may be relieved that violence has stopped and still miss someone. They may feel angry with a person they love. They may worry about a caregiver, a sibling or what will happen to their family. Adults can help by making room for those feelings without asking children to take sides or decide how they should feel.
Small Things That Can Help
Keep what you can predictable.
Meals, bedtime routines, school and other familiar parts of the day can give children something they know they can count on.
Tell them what they need to know.
When plans or living arrangements change, simple, age-appropriate explanations can reduce some of the uncertainty children may be carrying.
When they aren’t ready to talk.
“You don’t have to tell me right now. I’m here when you’re ready, and if you’d rather talk to someone else you trust, I can help with that too.”
Let feelings be complicated.
A child may feel scared, angry, relieved or sad. They may also love and miss someone who caused harm. They do not need to choose the “right” feeling.
Follow their lead when they want to talk.
Let children know you are available to listen without pressuring them to talk or asking for details. When they want to share, follow their lead and focus on listening.
Remind them who is responsible.
Children sometimes believe they caused the violence or should have stopped it. Remind them that violence between adults is never their responsibility.
Safety is more than being out of immediate danger. For a child, it can also mean knowing what comes next, having adults they can depend on and slowly learning that things can feel safe again.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a time to recognize the impact domestic violence can have on individuals, children and families, while reminding people that support is available.
Domestic violence can look different from one relationship to another. It may include physical violence, but it can also involve threats, intimidation, isolation, controlling access to money, monitoring someone’s activities or other behaviors used to gain power and control.
For someone experiencing domestic violence, reaching out for help does not mean they have to know exactly what they want to do next. They may be looking for information, help thinking through their options, support with safety planning or simply someone who will listen without judgment.
No one should have to navigate violence or fear alone. Knowing where support is available is one way we can help make our community safer for children and families.
COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT
WRAP – WoMen’s Rural Advocacy Programs
When a family is experiencing domestic violence, knowing where to turn can make an overwhelming situation feel a little less uncertain. WoMen’s Rural Advocacy Programs, known as WRAP, provides free and confidential support for individuals and families affected by domestic violence and other forms of violence and exploitation.
For someone experiencing domestic violence, WRAP can help with more than one kind of need. Advocates are available to listen, talk through options and help create an individualized safety plan. WRAP also provides emergency housing and transportation assistance, legal and court advocacy, housing support, referrals and connections to other resources. Their 24-hour crisis line means someone can reach an advocate when support is needed.
Supporting Young People, Too
One of the ways Child’s Place often connects with WRAP is through their work with youth.
WRAP’s Youth Program provides support and opportunities for young people to build confidence, strengthen communication and develop important life skills. Their Leaders & Legends program works with youth ages 9 through 18, creating opportunities for connection, personal growth and healthy development.
Supporting children is about more than responding when something harmful happens. Positive relationships, opportunities to build confidence and trusted adults can all be important pieces of helping young people grow and thrive.
We’re grateful to have organizations like WRAP in our community, supporting survivors, strengthening young people and helping families find a path toward greater safety and stability.
Looking for additional support? Explore more organizations and services available on our Community Resources page. →
WITH GRATITUDE
Thank You, MinnWest Bank
We’re grateful to MinnWest Bank for their generous $5,000 gift to Child’s Place and for the continued support they have shown our work over the years.
Longtime community partners make a meaningful difference. Gifts like this help Child’s Place continue being here for children and caregivers when they need us, while helping ensure these services remain available for children and families in our communities.
Thank you, MinnWest Bank, for continuing to invest in Child’s Place and in the children and families we serve.
ONE FINAL PIECE
Safety Can Be Built One Moment at a Time
When a child has experienced fear or uncertainty, feeling safe again may take time. There may not be one conversation, one resource or one action that makes everything better.
What matters are the moments that begin to add up. A familiar routine. An adult who listens. A promise that is kept. Someone who believes them. A place where they know they are welcome. Help that is there when a family is ready for it.
We may not always be able to change what a child has experienced, but we can be part of what they experience next.
Sometimes safety begins with something very simple, knowing there are people who will listen, stay and help.